What the hell did I just see?

I had my second baby last May. That Wednesday I laid eyes on my beautiful 9lbs 13oz precious son. His cheeks were so chubby and rosy red. I had trouble putting him down and now that he is nearly a year old, I still love him cuddling in my arms. Having a child is a blessing and I am so amazed that I have given birth to two beautiful little boys. I know that my body is a temple and it has held, grown and nurtured these two human beings. But when I put on my clothes and see myself in the mirror, it's not the precious memories of pregnancy that I think of. I know that most moms struggle with their bodies after baby, but they soon bounce back into a routine of eating right and exercising while someone watches their babies. I am a single mother. It is so much better off that way, and I wouldn't change that. I'm not opposed to finding a partner in the future, but never will it be the father(s) of my children. I am perfectly fine with having my hands full with two boys instead of pawning them off on someone. But a part of me wishes I had time to work on myself and to work on my weight. I know losing the excess weight will be a healthier choice. And the healthier I am, the longer I will be around for my boys. Not only will I feel better but I can imagine my sugars will be under better control as well. That is where the conflict arises. My sugar. Or a better term, blood glucose levels. It's an endless cycle. I eat to maintain steady sugar, and I eat to make sure I don't die. But then I get high, which requires insulin which then requires more insulin being stored in fat cells which means..... ya get where I'm going with this? So it's going to be a work in progress for quite some time. But I know I can do it. So far I've cut out snacks, such as the little Debbie ones. I've lost 5lbs, not much but I'm not exercising. And my a1c also came down. From 9% to 8.4%. Again, not much but it's a start. All because snacks that were keeping me stable through the night. So join me on this roller coaster ride of weight loss because it's going to be a whirlwind.

So much has changed since I last blogged. It seems like everyone and their dog has a blog. Seriously, I think I may be following a few dogs. Pugs, of course. It's cute because they pretend to be typing and telling us of their adventures to the park and how delicious their treats are. But we know it's really their owner, yet we read it anyways. Atleast we hope it's their owner. If I had a dog, chances are he would blog. But all joking aside, I feel like it's time to bring the blog back. Not because everyone is doing it, but because it really helped me when I WAS doing it. I've joined groups on social media that are specifically designated for T1 moms. It's been a huge relief to know that I'm not the only one who is struggling with this disease while atempting motherhood. So far so good, I hope. So much has happened and so much has changed. I feel like a different person. I don't feel like the teenager with diabetes anymore. I now feel like a mother, a full time, full blown, single (might I add), soccer mom. My college days are nearing an end. With graduation approaching and birthdays coming and going, I am starting to feel my age. Bare with me as I leap back in to this blogging journey. For those who know me and know what the past has entailed, enjoy the read. For those of you who don't know me and you stumbled upon my blog by accident, or your coming from one of the T1 Mommies groups on facebook, buckle up buttercup. I warn you now that I don't plan on holding anything back. I'm not biting my tongue, nor am I sugar coating ANYTHING. I am sharing my real feelings, honest opinions, my real life dreams and nightmares, and all the un betweens of being a full time mom and diabetic. Enjoy.